I can't believe how much fun I've been having with my Cricut! It really is such an amazing tool and has so many applications that it almost boggles the mind! Lately, I've had a fun time designing things with the vinyl. In my previous post, I've already put up a picture of the Histiocytosis decal that I designed (but I've gone ahead and put it here too since I'm so proud of it!) By the way, the symbol above the web site is the Japanese Kanji which means "Warrior". I thought it was very fitting for all of our Histio warriors! If for some reason anyone is interested in having a Histio decal, please let me know and I'll be sure to get one out to you. :)
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Lately I've had a BLAST designing stick figure decals. You know, the trendy little white stick people that see adorning just about every SUV now a days. But of course, being Nellie, I wasn't content to have just your normal, everyday stick people...oh no, I had to add my own little twist. Here's a couple of pictures of the work I have done. I have to say I'm pretty proud of how they turned out!
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Before I go any further, I’d like to apologize for this post. Some of my readers are not going to appreciate the words that come below. I’m sorry, but I feel like what I am about to write needs to be said. I would also like to add some precursor information. If you are new to the site, I want you to know that I *am* a Christian. I believe in God and I believe that he is actively at work in our lives. I also believe that He cares about all of his children and did not wind up the earth and then watch impassively as things unfold. I also have a firm Biblical foundation for my beliefs and if you’re curious, just email me and we can talk further.
Sooooo, with all that being said….
This week our oncology group lost a child to cancer. I don't know the family. I didn't get to meet the child. Still, my heart is broken all the same. I hate cancer. I hate what it does to vibrant young people, robbing them of the joyful times that they should be enjoying. I hate that even with all of our medical advances sometimes we still lose some of our brave warriors.
One of the things that really drives me crazy is when you are struggling with something and well meaning people say things like "Don't worry about it, God's in control." or "It will all be ok.". While they are well meaning, I don't think using those phrases are the most useful things to say to someone who is hurting and worried. Yes, I *absolutely* agree that God is in control. I don't doubt that, but here's the thing. Sometimes God's plan doesn't look a thing like ours. Do I want my child to be sick and have to go through chemo? Of course not! Is God still in control even when I don't get the answer to the prayer that I want? You bet. Am I still worried about his illness even though I know that God is working out a plan? You bet your sweet cheeks I am.
When someone is facing a major source of worry, there are so many more helpful ways to encourage someone than to throw out cliches, even if they are well intentioned. I'm sorry, but saying that "God is in control" and leaving it at that is like putting a cute kids bandaid on a gushing chest wound. It might make you feel better, but it isn't going to do a whole lot of good to the person who is wounded. And frankly, to say "It will all be ok" is basically the verbal form of slapping someone in the face. How do you define "ok"?! Because I have seen amazing Christians that fervently prayed for their loved one to be healed only to see that loved one pass away.
So, what should you do when you're talking to someone who is going through a crisis? My biggest piece of advice is to L-I-S-T-E-N to them! A lot of times, just having someone who is willing to lend a compassionate ear while you lay out your worries and pain is all that is needed. Sure, it takes a lot more time than whipping out a feel good statement, but I promise it will be time well spent for both of you. When you do speak, be compassionate and loving. If you don't know what to say, that's ok. Recognize that they are going through something bigger than the two of you and do what you can to help. God really is in control, but he needs our hands, hearts and all of our compassion to help people who are going through the storms of life.
Greetings from the great state of GA. :) Once more I have only good news to report. Benjamin is doing great with his treatments and we are looking forward to having this part of our Histio journey behind us. The current plan is finish up chemo around the end of August. Our next set of scans is scheduled for next month, so please continue to pray for us. You’ll notice that I said “this part of our Histio journey”… one of the more unpleasant things about Hisito is that you’re never really sure whether or not it is truly gone. With so few people to study, it’s hard to know for sure what the true recurrence rates are. Depending on the study you look at, Benjamin’s form of LCH has a recurrence rate of about 37%. That means that there is a chance that anywhere from 6 months to 10 years later we will be facing another round of chemo with our little guy. We all know that God is ultimately in control, and he can completely remove the rogue cells if he wants to. However, our plans are not always God’s. So, as we finish up these last few months of chemo, we look forward to how ever much “normal” time we might have (hehehe…as if there was *ever* anything “normal” about our Clan!!).
The girls have been doing great, and I am amazed as I watch them develop into the beautiful young women that they are becoming. Genevieve has really shot up like a weed this part year, both physically (it won’t be long until she’s taller than me at this rate!) and mentally. I can’t believe that next year she’s going to be in the 4th grade! Where does the time go?? Autumn continues to amaze me how quickly she picks things up. She has remained the top AR (Advance Reader) reader leader in the school for 3 months in a row! Averaging about 3-5 books a week, she is a voracious reader and is quickly devouring all the books in the household! I’m really looking forward to seeing what she does in 1st grade. Lookout world, here comes Hurricane Knotts!
Speaking of school, we have decided that both Genevieve and Autumn will be going to public school next year. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time homeschooling Genevieve, but this past year has been a bit of a stretch for both of us. It seemed like just when we would get caught up, Benjamin would get sick again and we’d be behind once again. I also need a little time to regroup and strategize. It’s been quite the year and a few things have fallen through the cracks. Now that we’ve got a little bit of down time, I plan on getting the household back up to speed.
As always, I’d like to thank you for your continued prayer for our Clan. It’s been amazing to watch God work in our lives, and I look forward to seeing what he has planned for us next. :)
I really can't believe it...this weekend my first born turned 9 years old...9! I know it sounds cliche, but it's really hard for me to believe that I have been a parent for 9 years. Where has the time gone?! It seems like just the other day we brought Genevieve home for the first time. I was so nervous! I never really liked children, and especially not babies, and here I was entrusted with the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen in my life! Just a blink of an eye and years went by..she was a big 4 year old putting her baby sister Autumn in dress up clothes. I remember watching them play together so sweetly, Genevieve has always been such a caring big sister! And now, now I find that 9 years have gone by more quickly than I could possibly have imagined and my big girl is so grown up! She has traded Dora for Disney Fairies and Maisey books for Harry Potter. She has grown from a tender little infant barely able to take up a cushion on the couch to an amazing young lady who holds her little brother's hand during chemo and tells him that it's all going to be ok. As I look at the past and marvel, I can't help but wonder what the future is going to hold for my little princess. However, I know that whatever comes her way, she's going come through it with style and grace like she always does.
Anyway...enough nostalgia...back to this weekend. Ever since she was about 6 years old, Genevieve has been asking for a Nintendo DS. Since they are rather fragile items, I told her that she could have one when she was 10. So, for year after year, Genevieve has dreamed of the day that that elusive glowing piece of electronic wonder would warm the palms of her longing hands. Through all these years, she's waited with an uncharacteristic patience. So, Ken and I talked it over and decided that since she's been so good this year, we would go ahead and let her have it for her birthday this year. We coordinated with Aunt Kelly and Grandma Gregory to get her the game that she really wanted, but we kept it all ultra, uber top secret. The big day finally rolled around with Genevieve none the wiser about the treasure that waited for her in that blue gift bag. Here is the footage for your viewing enjoyment...
Yep, I've been AWOL for a while, but it's all been good! Benjamin continues to do amazing through his treatments. Sometimes I wonder if he doesn't have mutant healing genes like Wolverine. On that note, we have officially gone one whole month without being inpatient! That's right, my boy made it through the whole month of March without going to see his girlfriends on the 5th floor!
We've had several big events since the last time I wrote. First of all, we had a blast celebrating my birthday! I was really surprised by the girls this year, they went all out and got Momma a gift that she really loves! Mmmmhmmm they got me the Mack Daddy of all Nerf guns...the Vulcan EBF-25!! Fully automatic with a firing rate of 3 darts per second, Momma is truly one happy camper! I've even taught the kiddos a new game...it's called "Run Like a Chicken"! (grin) I also received a most generous and downright *ADDICTIVE* present from my Mom for my birthday. Yep, I got me my very own Cricut! I'll be honest, in the beginning I really didn't think I'd be using it for much more than making paper dolls for the girls (which is pretty cool in and of itself!). Then I discovered two things...an amazing piece of software called Sure Cuts A Lot, and Cricut's adhesive vinyl. I'm not going to go into very much detail, but we'll just say that the girls newest complaint is that "Mommy hooked the Cricut up to the computer and now we don't get to use it anymore!". From car decals to this years Easter eggs, I've probably had more fun playing with that little gadget than a person should! After my gifts we headed out to watch "How to Train Your Dragon"...in 3D!! I'm pretty much a sucker for any movie with dragons, but I gotta say, that movie is totally cool!!! A total must see! So, in summary, it's true...this was the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!
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And then there was Easter! As tradition now dictates, we spent a whole day dying Easter eggs with our neighbors. Since we have connections, we were able to get about 5 dozen eggs, which meant that there was plenty of eggs for both the little kids and the young at heart to decorate! As always, we had a great time! We also had a really fun time eating Easter dinner with my neighbors mother. I am really thankful to have such amazing people in my life!!
As if that weren't enough, this week we started Spring break. It's been a much needed reprieve for both the girls and myself. We have mostly stuck around the homestead and enjoyed visiting with our neighbors and just hanging out, though we did manage to get down to the lake on Wednesday. The weather has been in the lower 90s this week, and the girls thought it would be fun to go swimming. They did have a really great time, but I'm here to tell you, that water was C-O-L-D!!!! It was funny watching Benjamin running into the water teeth chattering, but not wanting to get out!
Speaking of "fun" times... Benjamin performed an experiment tonight that NONE of my children have ever done before. Yep, leave it to Chemo kid to decide that mini robin eggs (the Easter candy) are just the perfect size to shove up your nose!! Boys!! Sigh. However, I'm **very** thankful about two things...1) That it was a candy that begins to dissolve on its on when exposed to liquid (ie snot) and 2) my husband is so smart and came up with a completely non invasive way to flush out the remnants (a nice warm shower). I'm also really thankful that Benjamin has had such a runny nose the last week or so, because I'm afraid otherwise it would have been another oh so fun ER visit. You know it's bad when you look your 2 year old square in the eyes and say "I know what you're thinking and you are *not* going to the 5th floor for this! Let me assure you that they can handle this just fine in the ER and that you will *not* be able to visit your nurse girlfriends!" Still, since we already have an Ophthalmology appointment tomorrow, I plan on swinging Mr. Booger Butt down to the clinic for them to have a quick look see up his nose. It's amazing all of the interesting experiences one has while parenting!
I think I'll go ahead and wrap up this post. As you can see, it's been an amazing and (mostly) fun filled month! I'm looking forward to seeing what the future holds for us in April. :)
